A contradictionary is a cross between a dictionary and the Bible.
Eat that cake.
Monthly Archives: November 2008
I remember that once upon a time life was more simple than this. I had some money that I didn’t need because I was living at home. I knew what I was doing. I didn’t have any addictions. Family life was fine. I’m thinking, if only it was possible to go back in time to my first day at sixth form with the knowledge I have now. That’d be amazing.
I wake up every morning hoping that I’ve woken up in a parallel universe. An easier, simpler one. It’s not to be though.
I’ll just have to try and live with it.
A man, and a clown, and a small potato shop. Misshapen cakes. Man eats cake.
“Oh Beer! Can thar hat break the ice?”
“No, Nostradamus, the tomato is in the upright position!”
But the man ate a tato and the house fell out. Kematic spreight? Jovial blessings and all that. The cat has the clown and the tomato is revolving.
“Sell the free sweets! Sell the free sweets!”
And in the morning the box of tatoes lies down with the tomato and out pops a pomatoes. The crying. Green, blue, happy. What’s the ham?
What’s the ham?
Pteoaots. The htemsar ceairrs puagle!
I found a wicked looking book.
It’s called the Cunt Coloring Book, and it definitely looks like the thing to keep kids happy on long journeys.
Having listened to the podcast when it was first available, I didn’t give a second thought to Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross’s phone calls to Mr. Sachs. They weren’t particularly offensive and anyone who thinks they were should get their sense of humour checked. Sachs has since accepted the apology, which means that the air should be clear now, surely?
Anyway, I didn’t plan to write about that so much as briefly ponder Five’s decision to air an hour long documentary about the fiasco called “Russell & Ross: What the Fuck Was All That About?”. Without even questioning the idea of releasing this show, I laughed at the title. It’s just so Five isn’t it? I would watch it, mainly because I am a fan of both Ross and Brand, but I know it’s just going to be a boring, drawn out, pun filled ratings booster. What the fuck?
Um Bongo
Or so it says on the side of the carton. But do they really drink it in the Congo? Wikipedia says:
So why would they say it’s drunk over there? What’s the incentive for people to buy a drink that’s drunk in the Congo (even if it isn’t)? What’s the point? Are more people gonna buy it because it’s drunk somewhere in central Africa? Are they allowed to market something false like this?
I got two of them free with the Independent today, so I don’t mind.