Lazy

What are the boundaries between not lazy and lazy? Obviously, there are things that are definitely lazy and things that definitely aren’t. An example you say?

Lazy scenarios:

You have smelly teeth. You can’t bothered to go and brush your teeth.

You are thirsty. You can’t be arsed to go all the way from the living room to the kitchen to get a drink.

You have an asthma attack. You can’t be bothered to get your inhaler from your pocket.

Unlazy (correct word?) scenarios:

You want a pizza. You walk into town to get a pizza from the shop of pizzas.

You have a shower, then cook something, then have another shower to get rid of the garlicky smell.

You want to know what it’s like at 8000 feet. You climb a mountain.

But what about these?

You want to read a book before bed, but you’d need to walk into town (20 mins) to get it and the shops close in about 20 minutes and you’re not sure if they’ll be open. Would not going be lazy? Or sense?

You left your phone round your friends house and its 2 in the morning. You know he’ll be awake, but is it lazy to not go?

It depends on your outlook on life I guess.

</filler post>

Condobolin

I recently got a text from a friend saying, and I quote, “bring a condobolin”. Now, he was trying to write condom (obvously), but his predictive text came up with this strange word. Some rudimentary research found the meaning of this:

Condobolin is a town of 3,500 in the west of the Central West region of New South Wales, Australia, on the Lachlan River.

http://www.reference.com/search?q=Condobolin

How the fuck is this in a phone dictionary, and why would it predict that he was more likely to be talking  about a small town in Australia? We’ll never know I fear.

Halo? Is Anyone There?

Next year, I will be living with three other relaxed and chilled out guys. The house is going to be a haven from stress. And we will have two Xbox 360s and a PS3. This is two 360s with Halo 3. And at the moment, 7 controllers. One more controller and 4-on-4 Halo will be a reality with a team on each telly. Or an entire team on big team (8-a-side). It’s gonna be incredible. Who’s in?

Silly Things To Do

I know this is my blog, and I’m supposed write all the shit, but if anyone has any good ideas for general pointless bollocks, please let me know.

An example:

Me and a mate go on Facebook and start slagging each other off on someone’s (that we don’t know very well) wall. It goes a bit far… Just silly shit. Here, why not:

Mark Hammer Nugget Hearn scrawled ’round abouts 1:55 in the mornin.’
lewis is a gay
Plank-to-Plank

Lewis Maple scrawled ’round abouts 1:57 in the mornin.’
Mark Hearn is a fucking piece of shit who fucks children.
Plank-to-Plank – Pillage Lewis’s Plank

Mark Hammer Nugget Hearn scrawled ’round abouts 1:59 in the mornin.’
Lewis rapes babies and licks dead ladies cunts.
Plank-to-Plank

Lewis Maple scrawled ’round abouts 1:59 in the mornin.’
If I could, I’d go back in time and kill Mark’s mother so she’d never give birth to the fucking CUNT.
Plank-to-Plank – Pillage Lewis’s Plank

Mark Hammer Nugget Hearn scrawled ’round abouts 2:01 in the mornin.’
If I wasn’t so nice, I’d rip Lewis’s nose off and ram it up his urethra so that he pisses up his own nose. Then his cock would explode and cover his family in blood and semen, and they’d all get his AIDS.
Plank-to-Plank

Lewis Maple scrawled ’round abouts 2:02 in the mornin.’
Well I guess the joke’s on you, Mark, because I don’t actually have a penis. I bet you feel pretty fucking stupid right now.
Plank-to-Plank – Pillage Lewis’s Plank

Mark Hammer Nugget Hearn scrawled ’round abouts 2:03 in the mornin.’
I was trying to cover your secret man, you know I know that cos I licked your fat sweaty cunt out this morning.
I love you Lewis, can we have extra gay sex?
Plank-to-Plank

Proceed to Checkout

Proceed to checkout – a button we all press, but none of us really like doing it. The moment of hesitation always seems far too long. “Do I want to spend my hard earned (or not so, if it’s a government loan) money on this piece of crap I’ve never seen in real life, only on the internet? I don’t know the condition it’s in and I’m not sure if I trust the seller.” Then you always click on it anyway.

It nears the point of no return. I recently paid approximately £20 on the Risk board game. The hovering over the button was hard work that day. It’s an incredible game, but is any board game worth three hours of work-time? I just hope it gets used regularly.

Then, there’s the button that should technically be worse: the “pay” button, but it never seems as hard. Once you’ve got to the checkout, you’re in for the long haul. I suppose it must be linked to the checkouts in RL. If you take one item to the counter (e.g. a DVD in HMV) you’d feel like a complete muppet turning round and saying “nah, actually, I don’t want this”. Everyone would think you were a moron. The decision moment is when you pick up the case and decide whether you’re going to walk to the checkout with it or not – thus the proceed to checkout button is the hard button to press.

It’s not important anyway.

If…

If someone gets a drink, you can get a drink.

If someone gets a gun, you can get a gun.

If someone jumps off a cliff, you can jump too.

If someone finds a lover, you’re fucked.

Spore

A long awaited game for me, as well as many others, especially being a fan of the Sims and the game being made by the same people. The idea of a varied strategy game with elements of creativity embedded in the very original and inspiring structure that is Spore heighten my gamer-senses. I didn’t get this game until Christmas in the end; I bought it at the same time as I bought the new Tomb Raider game which made playing Spore an experience directly comparable to it. Unfortunately I decided that Tomb Raider was the better game and continued playing that while Spore was left sitting next to my computer waiting for an opportunity to release itself upon the onset of my boredom.

The fact is, I’ve only played the first three stages of Spore: the cell stage, the creature stage and the tribal stage. It’s a game which should have massive longevity due the the infinite number of creations available for your imagination to unleash upon your lowly desktop PC, yet the game modes are very one-dimensional. The game is very cartoony (only to be expected from EA games ), and the decisions you get to make in those game modes I have played are minimal. In so far as I can tell, it is harder to ally with other species, yet it is more fun to attack them. Either way, it barely affects the rest of the game, so it doesn’t matter either way.

I found myself enjoying Spore gradually less as it progressed, I loved the cell mode, not original in itself, but immensly fun nonetheless. The creature stage was also good fun, yet it was a simple game and my 5 year old sister could have played it just as effectively as me.  Then I moved on to the tribal stage. A slightly flawed game, a significantly simplified Age of Empires with only a few interesting elements left in. And the way you upgrade your creature is annoying in the least. Decorate it with stone garments so that your beautifully crafted creature looks retarded and then attack other tribes whilst ringing the dinner bell (a silly, yet innocent and endearing concept) and throwing babies out of your tribal hut. The young would add another element to the game: defend the children until they’re old enough to look after themselves and make themselves useful, but they grow too fast for starters, and if your babies get killed then its more than likely that you’re too far away to defend your base anyway and they’ll take that out too.

I will update this when I’ve played the rest of the game, but it is genuinely the only vaguely interesting thing that’s happenned in my life recently due to long work hours and I haven’t written on this blog for far too long.