File Sharing

A recently updated news story on the BBC news website entitled “UK will not legislate on piracy” caught my attention this week. File sharing is a big problem for the music industry and I can safely say that something obviously needs to be done about it. What made me laugh wasn’t the fact that there won’t be any law changes regarding this, it’s a very difficult problem to tackle, but the only comment in the entire article:

“We can’t have a system where we’re talking about arresting teenagers in their bedrooms.”

That is the only thing actually quoted from the Intellectual Property minister (there’s a position for that!?), David Lammy. Now I don’t know that much about law, but it is specifically the teenagers in their bedrooms that are perpetrating the crime. There’s no overlord. File sharing websites have their arseholes covered with 6 feet of reinforced concrete, and they’re the only other agent in this. So what’s required is either a major overhaul in the legislative system, or something to be done about the bedroom kleptomaniacs.

As far as I can see, it’s a deadlock, piracy continues to thrive and there’s nothing anyone can do in our current political system. Now, if we lived in a despotic regime or a communist state, this problem would be easily solved.

Democracy is too complicated.

Keep it simple kids, either share equally with no concept of money (which would work in a developed western country unlike Russia or Cuba (joke, in case there are any people with a sense of humour failure (if you are genuinely offended by that vague statement, kiss my ass, you’re not as mentally developed as us enlightened liberal patriots (are enlightened liberal patriots possible?)))) or let one person have all the fun.

Lazy

What are the boundaries between not lazy and lazy? Obviously, there are things that are definitely lazy and things that definitely aren’t. An example you say?

Lazy scenarios:

You have smelly teeth. You can’t bothered to go and brush your teeth.

You are thirsty. You can’t be arsed to go all the way from the living room to the kitchen to get a drink.

You have an asthma attack. You can’t be bothered to get your inhaler from your pocket.

Unlazy (correct word?) scenarios:

You want a pizza. You walk into town to get a pizza from the shop of pizzas.

You have a shower, then cook something, then have another shower to get rid of the garlicky smell.

You want to know what it’s like at 8000 feet. You climb a mountain.

But what about these?

You want to read a book before bed, but you’d need to walk into town (20 mins) to get it and the shops close in about 20 minutes and you’re not sure if they’ll be open. Would not going be lazy? Or sense?

You left your phone round your friends house and its 2 in the morning. You know he’ll be awake, but is it lazy to not go?

It depends on your outlook on life I guess.

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Halo? Is Anyone There?

Next year, I will be living with three other relaxed and chilled out guys. The house is going to be a haven from stress. And we will have two Xbox 360s and a PS3. This is two 360s with Halo 3. And at the moment, 7 controllers. One more controller and 4-on-4 Halo will be a reality with a team on each telly. Or an entire team on big team (8-a-side). It’s gonna be incredible. Who’s in?

Proceed to Checkout

Proceed to checkout – a button we all press, but none of us really like doing it. The moment of hesitation always seems far too long. “Do I want to spend my hard earned (or not so, if it’s a government loan) money on this piece of crap I’ve never seen in real life, only on the internet? I don’t know the condition it’s in and I’m not sure if I trust the seller.” Then you always click on it anyway.

It nears the point of no return. I recently paid approximately £20 on the Risk board game. The hovering over the button was hard work that day. It’s an incredible game, but is any board game worth three hours of work-time? I just hope it gets used regularly.

Then, there’s the button that should technically be worse: the “pay” button, but it never seems as hard. Once you’ve got to the checkout, you’re in for the long haul. I suppose it must be linked to the checkouts in RL. If you take one item to the counter (e.g. a DVD in HMV) you’d feel like a complete muppet turning round and saying “nah, actually, I don’t want this”. Everyone would think you were a moron. The decision moment is when you pick up the case and decide whether you’re going to walk to the checkout with it or not – thus the proceed to checkout button is the hard button to press.

It’s not important anyway.

Shitty “R” Key

This MacBook (is that a type of fast food sandwich book?) has no “r” key and is kinda difficult to type that letter. You have to stick your finger in the hole where it was and it’s a pain in the ass. Muthafucking Apple things with their shitty batteries and incompatible software. I’d like to wee on Mr Apple himself until he promises to make products that not only look nice, but do as much, if not more, as a good XP OS would.

And I hate the mouse, whether it be a laptop mouse or a desk mouse. Apple have made things more complicated for the sake of being different. And the wheel on the new mice are bollocks.

I don’t stand for or against Apple or Microsoft (most people seem to have an opinion that one is better than the other), as I can easily see why one is preferable to the other in both cases. Macs are prettier, do what they do better, are less susceptible to infections and are very handy for creative applications. PCs are far more compatible with everything, have far better peripherals (in my opinion), and can play games (the activity I do most on mine).

My toes are cold.

Old Wine

It seems that wine glasses are building up around my computer. I’m not quite sure how this is happening, possibly drinking wine before bed… How long does wine keep in a glass? By the taste of it, not 12 hours.

Anyway, I can’t believe I’d never heard of Advance Wars before last week, lying in bed with an XBox 360 controller playing Advance Wars on VisualBoyAdvance at 11am on a Saturday morning is a very enlightening experience. It was either that or Pokemon Yellow or Emerald. I think I’m sorted for the rest of the day. Apart from tonight. I can’t hack pyjama parties in the pub. I’m wearing clothes. But, yeah, the rest of the day looks good. If you’re in Exeter, look out for Drive-By Blessings, a local rock band looking out for gigs.

I’ve gotta stop drinking this wine.

I Know, So Should You

Things are as they seem. If nothing exists then we don’t exist. And apparently I exist because I think. What about when I’m not thinking? Do I exist then? But either way we all experience life, whether it’s actually there or not.

Also, a point to you people (especially religious types) about the need for a meaning to life. There is no meaning to life. We don’t need one. And if you think that makes my life empty and fragile, you’re wrong, because I have an awesome group of people around me that make life worthwhile, even when everything else is shit.

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No Money

No student loan yet… Should have got it a few days ago. No job yet either. Looking at a callcentre job, even immoral jobs sound good to me at this stage. I’m running out of food too. Sainsbury’s Basics noodles or Sainsbury’s Basics beans on toast for dinner tonight.

Still, I managed to drink a skinfull last night without spending a penny. Can’t really remember much of it. I went round a friend’s house last night, drunk other people’s beer, cider and Breezers (with permission of course) till I couldn’t walk. I vaguely remember coming up with “the orifice game”, a game in which you have to put as many pens in your body as possible. This seemed funny until my housemate made up a better variant involving hiding behind a door and shouting “which orifice is my finger in”.

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It shouldn’t be cold in here right now.