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I think being a long way from a loved one is worse than being single.

I don’t think I need to say anything about this – a cropped screenshot of Facebook (I assume Oli won’t mind).

Are quite a lot of professional singers quite quiet in general? I mainly ask this because I’ve been singing all afternoon, trying to recite lyrics (it’s not going incredibly) for tonight’s gig. Every time I talk I’m fed up with the sound of my own voice. Lucky I’m only singing six songs, otherwise everyone else will feel the same. I know my voice is far from professional standard, but good singers still have to put up with the sound they make all the time.

Maybe it is just me being a shit singer and forgetting all the lyrics. Very frustrating.

I’m gonna stay silent from now on…

Here he is neither George’s most distinguished colleague nor his least. He continues to work hard and shows uncommon common sense, rendering sound, pragmatic interpretations of the law.

Scott Turow, Limitations

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but surely the definition of common sense is that it is the standard reaction for the majority of people; therefore, if you have uncommon sense, your reactions to things are different from most people. Without even delving into meanings and etymologies, it is obvious that “uncommon common sense” is an oxymoron.

Having pointed this out, Limitations is the first Scott Turow book I’ve read, and he has very good press, being likened to (and in some cases, elevated above) John Grisham by various critics. I’m only 58 pages in, but I can already safely recommend it.

I was just having a conversation with my housemate about what to wear to impress a girl. We came up with:

• A gorilla costume to show a good sense of humour;
• A tie to look smart;
• A lab coat to look intellectual;
• Carry an onion and a knife to cry periodically to show a sensitive side;
• Wear lipstick to reveal a feminine side;
• Carry dumbells to show strength;
• Brogues to indicate wealth;
• And of course some leopard-print leggings to show individuality.

In case you haven’t realised this before, you can subscribe to this blog by visiting http://incognitous.wordpress.com/feed/ or clicking on the orange feed button in your address bar and clicking on subscribe. This will save a bookmark which tells you when there is a new post and saves you having to check regularly, especially since by brain-to-keyboard sphincter has tightened up a bit recently. Save the bookmark in a bookmarks toolbar in your browser and everything will be made much easier.

Either that or you’re using a browser other than IE7, in which case I assume you’re bright enough to work it out yourself. Opera has a nice “Feeds” drop-down doodah. Use that!

Read this too: http://willwybrow.com/2009/01/11/feeding-blogs/

A recently updated news story on the BBC news website entitled “UK will not legislate on piracy” caught my attention this week. File sharing is a big problem for the music industry and I can safely say that something obviously needs to be done about it. What made me laugh wasn’t the fact that there won’t be any law changes regarding this, it’s a very difficult problem to tackle, but the only comment in the entire article:

“We can’t have a system where we’re talking about arresting teenagers in their bedrooms.”

That is the only thing actually quoted from the Intellectual Property minister (there’s a position for that!?), David Lammy. Now I don’t know that much about law, but it is specifically the teenagers in their bedrooms that are perpetrating the crime. There’s no overlord. File sharing websites have their arseholes covered with 6 feet of reinforced concrete, and they’re the only other agent in this. So what’s required is either a major overhaul in the legislative system, or something to be done about the bedroom kleptomaniacs.

As far as I can see, it’s a deadlock, piracy continues to thrive and there’s nothing anyone can do in our current political system. Now, if we lived in a despotic regime or a communist state, this problem would be easily solved.

Democracy is too complicated.

Keep it simple kids, either share equally with no concept of money (which would work in a developed western country unlike Russia or Cuba (joke, in case there are any people with a sense of humour failure (if you are genuinely offended by that vague statement, kiss my ass, you’re not as mentally developed as us enlightened liberal patriots (are enlightened liberal patriots possible?)))) or let one person have all the fun.

What are the boundaries between not lazy and lazy? Obviously, there are things that are definitely lazy and things that definitely aren’t. An example you say?

Lazy scenarios:

You have smelly teeth. You can’t bothered to go and brush your teeth.

You are thirsty. You can’t be arsed to go all the way from the living room to the kitchen to get a drink.

You have an asthma attack. You can’t be bothered to get your inhaler from your pocket.

Unlazy (correct word?) scenarios:

You want a pizza. You walk into town to get a pizza from the shop of pizzas.

You have a shower, then cook something, then have another shower to get rid of the garlicky smell.

You want to know what it’s like at 8000 feet. You climb a mountain.

But what about these?

You want to read a book before bed, but you’d need to walk into town (20 mins) to get it and the shops close in about 20 minutes and you’re not sure if they’ll be open. Would not going be lazy? Or sense?

You left your phone round your friends house and its 2 in the morning. You know he’ll be awake, but is it lazy to not go?

It depends on your outlook on life I guess.

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I recently got a text from a friend saying, and I quote, “bring a condobolin”. Now, he was trying to write condom (obvously), but his predictive text came up with this strange word. Some rudimentary research found the meaning of this:

Condobolin is a town of 3,500 in the west of the Central West region of New South Wales, Australia, on the Lachlan River.

http://www.reference.com/search?q=Condobolin

How the fuck is this in a phone dictionary, and why would it predict that he was more likely to be talking  about a small town in Australia? We’ll never know I fear.